An Art Class… Or Not

Writer’s note: Whatever happens in this story is based on 100% true events. A few embellishments, perhaps, but really, it’s literary license. I am doing this for entertainment. Enjoy!

I attended offline classes on Wednesday, 16th February, 2022. And the events of one particular period of this day has been chronicled by me in this post. 

Let me take you back to the fifth period, Art. Carol Ma’am was teaching the class. Since it was mostly free, I took my time to finish a sketch of Varangi Jha. Just then, Aadita, who had been sent to the Art Room to get the T-Shirts my classmates had block-printed in fifth grade, returned with a big bag and took out shirts. The girls and I immediately crowded around to see them. We handed them out to the students and left the rest in a shelf. Then, on a bid, my classmate, who calls himself Ash, asked Carol Ma’am, “Ma’am, can I take a walk around the school?” 

Ash says things like this, and the whole class is used to it. Carol Ma’am knew this too, and she shot it down immediately. But what’s more, two of my classmates, who call themselves Big S and Big J, also stood up and echoed Ash’s request. They started arguing why Aadita had to go and not them, deeming it gender inequality. Gender inequality? Nonsense. I wondered aloud whether they’d just sit in class and wait another time, but they told me to keep quiet. I shrugged and went back to looking at the T-shirts. 

Then, Ma’am sent Pradhi, Oditi and Aanchal to get these beautiful paper cacti plants the rest of my classmates made in 5th grade, and I helped Oditi carry one, as she was juggling three. The one I was holding belonged to Manit, and he had already gotten up and started towards me, saying, “That’s my plant!”

I laughed and handed it to him. “It’s really nice.”

“This paint is still glowing!” He turned the pot around.

I laughed some more. Dude had used glow paint while making the pot, I realised. I even had Maanav’s, but since he didn’t come to school and was attending online, I set it on another shelf. 

By the time I was done with all that, a full-blown tirade had blown between Big J, Big S, Ash, and some of the other girls, reminding me of the ‘boys vs. girls’ prank videos I saw on Super Dancer. I merely suggested that they could wait, but things were getting out of hand, and it felt like a war in all its meaning. Carol Ma’am, the other students and I were trying to keep things at bay. After a while, I realised that everyone wanted to go to the newly refurnished auditorium in the school. I hadn’t seen it either, but I was ready to wait until we got a chance. But then, Oditi and Aadita whispered in my ear all the new stuff of the auditorium, and I immediately wanted to go too. But I still waited. Patience is a true virtue, anyway. 

Then, all of a sudden, I saw Malini Ma’am streak past our classroom, and it seemed like someone had flipped a switch. Everyone scrambled back to their seats, myself included. Ash yelled at someone to close the door, and Big J obliged. I could see the faces of my classmates, so utterly spooked it felt as if a ghoul had made its way into the room. I had no idea what was going on. As soon as the door closed, someone giggled. Then I did. Then soon most of the students were laughing hysterically, and I am sure even Carol Ma’am was suppressing a smile behind her mask. Fear is a true enemy, but in this case, fear even brought laughter as relief. Or so I thought.

After a few seconds, everyone was back on their feet again, and this time, all norms of social distancing and whatnot were forgotten. The girls and I huddled around in groups, whispering, while the trio of Ash, Big J and Big S were forming fake lines and posing to Ma’am to show that they’d be well-disciplined and that nothing would happen. For all I knew, what would really happen was eternal disorder if events played out their way, so we had to suppress it. A few times they even clapped the backs of other boys, saying they’d vouch for them. I wished in my head they wouldn’t. 

Since no hopes arose for them to go, they turned to me, of all people. See, I knew they wouldn’t ask me a favour in a million years because I have a feeling the trio despises me very much. But favour they wanted to ask, and I let them go ahead.

Big S was ready to deliver the lines. “Would you please consider requesting our English teacher, Ms. Vinanthi Santosh Kini, to allow the whole class to go see the auditorium?”

I snorted. “Why me?”

“You just won a gold medal for the IEO, and Vinanthi Ma’am has congratulated you. It would be fair,” Big S continued.

I stared at them. “I’ll think about it.” I left and joined my friend Seema, recounting the conversation.

“See, there are three reasons. One: you’re on Ma’am’s good side. Two: you’re a new student, you do want to see the auditorium. Three, you just won that gold medal. I mean, I can’t think of anything else.”

“I guess,” I said. “But surely Ma’am will say no.”

“So you probably shouldn’t ask.”

I rubbed my chin and straightened the pleats of my skirt. “I have a better idea.” And I whispered my plan into her ear. On hearing it, she seemed delighted and perhaps grinned at me. I liked my plan, too. It surely had to work.

All three reasons were true. I was unsure about the first one, but the second one and the third one was true. I had secured school rank 2 in the English Olympiad and was awarded a gold medal and certificate. It made sense. 

I turned to tell the trio, but it seemed like they had already eavesdropped on our conversation. Big S repeated his ‘request’ again, just as the period was ending. I said yes. But what was annoying that he had asked me five times more, even after Vinanthi Ma’am came in and started talking. I yelled, “Dude! I said yes already! And next time you ever want to ask a favour, just say it!”

Vinanthi Ma’am was perhaps a little startled by my outburst, but really, there’s a limit. Aadita and I took turns and gave a quick summary of the events, with occasional catcalls from Ash, Big J and Big S. Big S got up and said, “Maisha, Big J told me to say those lines, first thing.”

I turned to Big J. “Keep it simple next time.” I then made the request to Vinanthi Ma’am. And her response? Maybe. And that was good enough to prank the trio using reverse psychology! ‘Maybe’ for sure meant ‘a hard no’. Or perhaps Vinanthi Ma’am really wanted to take us there. I wasn’t sure. Big J, Big S and Ash pouted at me, and I shrugged and said, “Next time you’ll get your shot.”

“We’ll only get our shot in high school,” they grumbled.

I brightly smiled. “Wait until then!”

And soon, everything was done. I wrote a two-page summary about this event, and so did Manit, as a part of our English task. And this post, that you read now, is a more expanded version of the original summary in my English composition notebook. (Page count says 4.7 on Ulysses.) I hope you enjoyed this chronicle. Offline classes are much more fun than online classes, for sure. We were in a jolly mood the rest of that day, and on Thursday, I handed my notebook to Rema Ma’am for her to read the summary, and Aadita told the tale to Poornima Ma’am too. I’m sure this story will spread like wildfire through the rest of the school. This tale was hilarious and fun. Stay tuned for more posts!

Signed,

Melody Vega

(as Maisha Saighal in this chronicle)